Day 14: Original October
(Day 44: Simply September, Day 75: Accountable August, Day 106: Jenn in July, Day 136: Journey Continued June, Day 167: Made it May, Day 197: Appreciation April, Day 228: Mending March, Day 256: Fitness February, Day 287: No Junk Food January)
I’ve had a difficult time lately clearing my mind and focusing on what I’d like to write about. This journey has brought so many great things into my life; I feel empowered by the fact that I have made so many positive changes, but I’m left wanting. I’m wanting and needed changes that I personally have no control over outside of saying yes or saying no. It’s left me standing here… waiting on someone else’s decision in order to make my own move. It really has succeeded to suck the energy out of life lately. I know I should just stay focused on my own goals, the ones I can control, but I can’t… and there for my own goals are being compromised.
I’m not afraid of life, to let the good and the bad happen; to find that silver lining in the gray rain clouds. I know everything will eventually fall into place, to be exactly what it is meant to be. It’s just that I’m tired… The life changes have lead me to open up my heart, body, mind and soul and it hurts so much when others take advantage of the goodness you offer. “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13 NLT) I do this, with all of my being. No, I will not stop… I know even now I am learning something valuable from this, even if it hurts.
We all just march on; travelling, hoping, dreaming, praying. Keeping the faith.
Original October’s premise was to start drawing and painting, which I have, I just have nothing finished yet to share. I’ve realized though Original October is also a good time to explore the originality of myself and each person I know in my life. We are all 1:1 like that commercial says and each of us has unique and special gifts to offer the world, if only we are not afraid to embrace them. Likewise, embrace each other too. Life is filled with so many distractions and opportunities to be caught up in the nonsense; we forget to be there for others. And I most definitely know this is an area I need to work on!
So I’ll carry on this month, trying to be understating and give time to the areas of life that I cannot control. Likewise, to put my heart and focus back into the parts of life I do have the ability to make decisions on. As always, I thank you all for the support, advice and comments as I’ve been sharing this journey over this year. It has meant the world to me so share each experience, emotion and accomplishment!
